The Keys, The Kids

Mitch and I were chatting this afternoon on YM. It was hot and everything was moving in slow motion. I was glad when Mitch texted me to say she’s online and we can chat like we always do when she gets the chance to get connected.

I was showing off my new Multiply banner to her. The first thing she said was---

“Darl! THE KEYS”, that sounds like a movie title.”

“Hey,” I replied, “you think you can make a home movie about my love story?”

And we went on to think up other titles for the “imaginary movie”. Like The Kissing Keys which seemed totally hilarious. We were giggling so much about the impossibility of the thought -up titles that the audio decided we were sounding totally inane and needed to be cut off. We gave up video chat when Mitch’s Wi-Fi connection became too weak that the video froze and the audio became choppy. We resorted to typing and went on to chat about other stuff, then we discussed her internship resume and she let me read what she had done so far. I was impressed. The girl is smart, but I expected no less. I was teaching her to read and write at age 3. Both she and JB already knew how to read and write even before they started school.

I chatted for a while with 5 year old Raphael and Mitch asked me if we could try the video chat again. Raphael was screaming with glee when he saw me on webcam.

“Mommy Darling, I can see you, I can see you.” He said how he misses me and wants to see me soon so can I come visit him? It was gratifying to feel soooo missed when we were together all morning and afternoon just the other day.

Children have been such a big part of my life. There was my niece Angie, Raphael’s mom, who was only 3 months old when she came to us. I was her little surrogate mother. I fuzzed over her after school, I will rush through my homework and take her everywhere with me on my bike. I stopped hanging out with my friends so I can come home early to spend time with her. I thought her to love books, and supported her through college. And look at her now, a highly successful HR Manager of a big company and earning big bucks.

There is Mitch. I taught her to sing when she was only 3. I am torn between jumping with pride and having a heart attack when she is performing. Aside from taking after me in her love for books and writing, she has this special talent for singing and she has the voice of an angel that touches the hearts of those who hear her. She is my goddaughter and I’m mighty proud of her. Just another year and she will graduate from college.

Then there’s my adopted daughter Jaybee, a very special girl. Everyone who knows me knows the story of JB’s life and how I came to raise her up as my daughter. She is also in college and is into cooking. She cooks really well, and I admit she didn’t get that from me. :) Steve and I are seeing both girls through college. It’s our dream to see them starting off their adult lives with all the pluses we can possibly give them.

It’s really a hot afternoon. Thinking about the girls, about Raphael, and thinking about how these kids have brought both joy and pain in my life took my mind off the humidity. The great part of my life spent looking out for them is worth it.

My greatest reward? The chance to spend the rest of my life with Steve. What???? You see no connection????

Neither do I. I just wanted to say it.

Master Chef In The Making

I was a novice when it comes to cooking. I know just the very basic like fried eggs, fried chicken, fried fish and other food that just needs to be fried. However, when I met Steve, I knew it was essential that I should learn to cook. He is a great cook and he can come up with amazing dishes even when it’s almost like time to go grocery shopping again. You know--- when the fridge is almost empty, and the cupboard needs restocking. He would check what’s left and he can whip up something from the “stragglers” that is sure to whet the appetite. I would watch him cook, awed at the ingenuity and expertise. He would talk about the different cuts of meat, how long they need to be cooked, what spices go well with what, how he would mix fruits and veggies in the salads.

It isn’t because I feel less of a woman because I couldn’t cook well and Steve can, or that I think of cooking as a woman’s job. Anyone can cook well whether the person is a man or a woman. It doesn’t matter what the gender as cooking is a skill that anyone can learn and master. I just need to satisfy that hunger in me, no pun intended, J a hunger to learn, a desire to understand the fulfillment and pleasure of turning out great dishes.

I’m telling you, it’s not easy. Many times, I have cooked flops and I had to give the neighbors’ cats and dogs some free meals with the prayer that they won’t suffer from indigestion and ambush me when I dare to step out of my front door.

It’s a lot of fun though. Especially when I learned that it’s not always good to follow a recipe to the letter. Or that you have to know how to shop well for your ingredients. That the best way to cook is by knowing how to use your own taste buds to determine the outcome of your recipes. A pinch more or less a shake… depends on how you want your dishes to turn out. I have been cooking up a storm in my tiny kitchen since then. Seeing people enjoying their meals, rubbing their stomachs and sighing with satisfaction… well it’s absolutely gratifying, like you have done the world some good.

I’m far from being an expert. But I’m still learning. And I can already cook a mean Steak with Darl’s Special Gravy.: D My daughter says that I can beat the famous gravy of an expensive restaurant here hands down. I can also make Beef Caldereta, Pastel, Sinigang, Asado and so many more.

Is the effort of learning to cook worth it? Yes, it is. The fulfillment it gives me is worth every drop of sweat, the cut on my fingers, the burns and the washing up.

One thing more I learned. I cook my best dishes when I’m happy. It’s true what people say about cooking --- it’s affected by the state of your emotions. I never cook when I’m angry or upset.

SLEEPLESS IN CALAMBA!

1:59 AM. I have gone to bed twice, only to get up again after tossing and turning and failing to fall asleep. Darn, I have to get up really early because the movers will be here around 8am and I have some final checking to do. Yep, you got it right. I’m moving house.

Maybe I’m overly tired, and that usually keeps me awake instead of knocking me off to oblivion. Or maybe I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out some questions about life that don’t have any answers at all and I’m just too plain foolish to take those thoughts to bed. Maybe it ‘s JB tickling me and telling funny stories before she finally fell asleep that has left me wide awake. Maybe…….

Too many maybes. I need to sleep so I will be ready for the big move tomorrow. Oooppss. Not so big. I’m just moving a few blocks from here. What’s big is the packing and the unpacking that is the obvious sequel to that.

What am I doing rambling like this at now past 2 in the morning?

Sigh! It wouldn’t have been so bad if I could turn out a piece of exceptionally riveting story to post in my blog. Or if Steve is not at therapy and we can chat for a while.

Maybe I’m really too tired to fall asleep. My body is crying out for a much-needed rest but my brain is clicking away and refusing to shut down. I keep seeing a slide show of the things I have to do tomorrow. And it’s making me more tired than ever. Help!!!!

The one thing that is making me happy about this move is the bigger kitchen and I get a better view of Mt. Makiling when I take walks.

Maybe a glass of warm milk will help. Darn, I have packed everything except a bottle of sparkling water in the fridge. 2:33Am. I should be so lucky to grab a couple of hours sleep. But I’ll try. I will really try. Yeah, who am I kidding? Might as well do some last minute check if the clothes cabinets are really empty.

Another darn! I have been sitting here alternately pounding on the keyboard and staring into space when I have to unhinge the kitchen door from the jamb so the movers can get the fridge out. It will never go through if I don’t remove the door. Hon, help!!!!

CELEBRATION

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait for Christmas to come around, and of course, the New Year, its twin occasion. We always got new clothes and shoes, one set for each event, toys and lots and lots of special food. I have always looked back on that with fond memories.

Life is so simple when you are a child. A word is taken at face value, no hidden meanings and no complications. It’s so easy to be happy, and so easy to recover from disappointments.

I’m looking at things much differently now. Yes, life has become so much more complicated. Age has something to do with that I suppose. Attitude, maturity , the need for a more meaningful existence and maybe the influence of the past, too, have all helped in shaping up a new way of looking at things It would have been so much easier to have retained the simplicity of a child and the simple way of coping with life.

Even occasions for celebration have become different. Christmas has become less important than the New Year. The new clothes and festive meals have lost their appeal. When before lechon and morcon were the very essence of the Noche Buena, now they have become a means to unwanted pounds, clogged arteries and all sorts of middle age sickness. New clothes? Nah. Maybe for my nieces, Mitch and JB.

My Christmas and the New Year now means celebrating with my loved ones. A time to gather in the family home, to have quiet moments of just catching up with what the others have been up to for the past year. A time to pray for strength and guidance for another year of battling for survival in this crumbling world. A time to reaffirm the love and affection, to show each other that you will always be there when you are needed. Never mind cooking up a storm in the kitchen. Never mind dressing up in spanking attires enough to shame royalties. Love, loyalty, self-sacrifice, faith. That is what Christmas is all about.

It’s too late now to greet all of you a Merry Christmas and too early for next Christmas. But I still wish you all the best for the coming year. Sorry for the cluttered way I wrote this blog. The end of the year has sent me into a binge of introspection and I wrote this entry with no thought for form and style. Don’t go getting a headache trying to figure out where I’m coming from.