Something never felt quite right the last few months. It has been teasing my mind, a seed of doubt, of fear that has pestered into something totally painful and unmanageable. The weird thing is I can't quite put a finger on the whys and who's. There is no concrete reason why I should feel threatened, and yet somehow, a feeling that the ax is about to fall is constantly there in the darkest corner of my mind. A feeling that I am about to lose something very important to me has started plaguing my waking moments, making my heart ache, causing unwanted tears to fall.
I have been real happy the last 21 months that I have forgotten life can be so capricious. I have left my defense down, let the barriers to fall into decay. Where once I have hugged caution like my dearest friend, I have exiled it and forbidden it from encroaching into my present domain which I consider to finally be completely happy and peaceful. Nothing and no one is allowed to breach the quiet perfection of my world. It's impregnable, or so I thought.
And now this. The usual confidence is gone. The quiet hiatus from the cruelty of life has seemingly come to an end. I can feel a strong force hammering against the walls of the dreamworld I have built around me. I don't recognize what it is, but I can feel its fearful presence. It has forcibly drummed into my consciousness the fact that life in this world is a constant struggle. I have always known that it is so, but the peace and quiet has lulled me into thinking that everything has fallen into place.
And so I steel myself for what is about to come. I have chosen peace and quiet, love and contentment. But life does not give you a lot of options. It throws at you what it will. The only choice you can make is to let it swamp you into submission, or fight to the end and make the best of what you can.
I am not anticipating trouble. But the years of trying to survive in the battlefield that is called Life honed my skills and intuitions to perfection. My senses tell me a "battle" is waiting to happen. I can't pinpoint when or where or what form it's going to take. But a feeling like a cold finger running down my back, something dark and cold tells me that Premonition has come visiting again. And it has left a definite message. Gear up and keep alert.
