FAMILY

Family. What is it? It’s the smallest unit of society. A group of people bound by blood, and sometimes not, who uphold the same belief and principles. They are held together by love, moral obligations and sometimes by the expectations of our society. They are the people that you can sometimes do without, but the same people you can’t do without for the most part.

You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends. I have heard many lamenting that fact. And why not? The family can be a cauldron of intrigue, jealousy, unresolved issues and horrible secrets. Tell me that there is one family you know that doesn’t have a skeleton in the closet, and I will call you a liar. Is there ever a family reunion that won’t rake up old, unresolved issues, or where no one will remember or talk about past mistakes, or where one won’t feel that he is greater or worse than another? Admittedly, the family is the most complicated unit of society, and yet, it is the strongest foundation, too. I am not an expert, but I think the deterioration of the family unit contributes a lot in the deterioration of our society as a whole.

I have always treasured my own family. It’s not the best there is, but it’s the only one I’ve got. There are family members I can live with for the rest of my life. But there are others whom I will be satisfied to see only once a year. Maybe they feel that way about me, too. After all, I’m not the perfect sister, aunt, cousin or niece. I can be moody; I can shut up like a clam and be in my own secret world, oblivious to the partying family members around me. Not that I’m autistic, mind.:) It’s just that sometimes, I feel tired of interacting and being careful not to trigger off some past hurt or unresolved issues that might cause anyone pain. But get me on my soapbox, and I can shoot down anyone who contradicts. A family reunion is a minefield. I sometimes think I can only take it in small doses.

And yet, when a crisis happens, it is the family that is always there first to help you pick up the pieces. I have been through one a couple of days ago. I was expecting negative repercussions, dreading the remonstrations and the barrage of accusations. Instead, I got commiseration, emotional support and offers of practical help. All of that has helped me to cope better and enclosed me in a protective cocoon of warmth. My family gave me an opportunity to look at the problem in a better light, made me more able to cope with it because of the new and better perspective.

I read somewhere that it’s good to have friends instead of family because you can take them or leave them. Because you have chosen them and do not have a history that will get in the way of the relationship. Because you can joke and be lighthearted with them and be with them because you like to and not out of a sense of obligation.

I beg to disagree on a personal level. My family, as I said is not the ideal family. But it’s the one I can count on when everybody else has given up. I sometimes complain that some family members should behave better. I sometimes get to a point when I want to disown them. But in times like this, I thank God for my family. They are there for me when I really need them.

The World Is Upside Down

It’s 2:30am. I have been trying to sleep, but I find my bed so unfriendly, so unwilling to bring me the peace and quiet that only sleep can possibly give me. I don’t know, I was feeling okay earlier, although I had a headache. I took a couple of Excedrin to kill the pain and expected to sleep to complete the process of getting over it. But I lay awake, and as usual, my brain went into overdrive.
I thought about how awful this world has become, how hard it is to survive on a day to day basis. I thought about how I hate to see my brothers and sisters getting deeply into debt just to give their families what they need to live with a little dignity. I thought about JB and Mitch, too young to experience such hardships in life. I thought about Steve and me, spending over two years apart, barely surviving the loneliness and pain of the separation. I thought about how scary it is to go out, how stressing to always be on the alert in case the person next to you is a mugger.

I am angry about the injustices that I see around me. Angry that so many people have come to disregard the value of human life. I am angry that we have become calloused and no longer horrified about the evil that’s happening around us. It grieves me that the poor are suffering too much that they don’t give a second thought about begging and stealing in order to survive. I break my heart when I hear about the unscrupulous preying on the weaknesses of others to take advantage and to better themselves. I hate hearing the politicians talking about their programs for the poor now that the election is almost here. I hate knowing that after the elections, none of their promises will be kept.

Sometimes, I ask myself if the world is upside down. Like nothing seems to be right or normal, so it couldn’t be right side up. Why are the wicked ones prospering, and the righteous suffering? The world is on a straight path to destruction, and there’s no way of stopping it. Why do we try so hard to do good, seeing that it doesn’t make any difference? I get confused about my purpose in life. I get confused about the commandment of loving your enemy. Who is my enemy, the thief, the murderer, the corrupt politician, the adulterer, the liar? Why should I waste my time on those losers when I can do better doing good to my fellow believers, when we can uplift each other and make our sojourn in this world a bit more bearable until it’s time to leave?

Maybe the quietness or the darkness of the night is making me lose my perspective. Or making things look bigger than they actually are. Maybe the morning light will push away the depressing images passing through my mind. One thing is sure though. Now is not the time to give up on the faith. I know that if I let go of the principles I believe in, the foundation of what I have become since I was born again, then all is lost for me.

Maybe I do not understand at times. Maybe I can’t find a reason for all the things that are happening around us. I have so many questions, but nobody is giving me the right answers, so maybe I am asking the wrong questions. Maybe I am looking at the situation from the wrong angle. Maybe, and then maybe not.
I’m going back to bed in a few minutes, whether to think some more, or to finally sleep, remains to be seen. Hey, maybe the light of a new day will give me a better perspective, a more hopeful attitude, and a renewed perseverance to do what is right and honorable despite the current trend. The trick maybe is not to look down, but to look up. Heaven always offers a better view.