Family. What is it? It’s the smallest unit of society. A group of people bound by blood, and sometimes not, who uphold the same belief and principles. They are held together by love, moral obligations and sometimes by the expectations of our society. They are the people that you can sometimes do without, but the same people you can’t do without for the most part.You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends. I have heard many lamenting that fact. And why not? The family can be a cauldron of intrigue, jealousy, unresolved issues and horrible secrets. Tell me that there is one family you know that doesn’t have a skeleton in the closet, and I will call you a liar. Is there ever a family reunion that won’t rake up old, unresolved issues, or where no one will remember or talk about past mistakes, or where one won’t feel that he is greater or worse than another? Admittedly, the family is the most complicated unit of society, and yet, it is the strongest foundation, too. I am not an expert, but I think the deterioration of the family unit contributes a lot in the deterioration of our society as a whole.
I have always treasured my own family. It’s not the best there is, but it’s the only one I’ve got. There are family members I can live with for the rest of my life. But there are others whom I will be satisfied to see only once a year. Maybe they feel that way about me, too. After all, I’m not the perfect sister, aunt, cousin or niece. I can be moody; I can shut up like a clam and be in my own secret world, oblivious to the partying family members around me. Not that I’m autistic, mind.:) It’s just that sometimes, I feel tired of interacting and being careful not to trigger off some past hurt or unresolved issues that might cause anyone pain. But get me on my soapbox, and I can shoot down anyone who contradicts. A family reunion is a minefield. I sometimes think I can only take it in small doses.
And yet, when a crisis happens, it is the family that is always there first to help you pick up the pieces. I have been through one a couple of days ago. I was expecting negative repercussions, dreading the remonstrations and the barrage of accusations. Instead, I got commiseration, emotional support and offers of practical help. All of that has helped me to cope better and enclosed me in a protective cocoon of warmth. My family gave me an opportunity to look at the problem in a better light, made me more able to cope with it because of the new and better perspective.
I read somewhere that it’s good to have friends instead of family because you can take them or leave them. Because you have chosen them and do not have a history that will get in the way of the relationship. Because you can joke and be lighthearted with them and be with them because you like to and not out of a sense of obligation.
I beg to disagree on a personal level. My family, as I said is not the ideal family. But it’s the one I can count on when everybody else has given up. I sometimes complain that some family members should behave better. I sometimes get to a point when I want to disown them. But in times like this, I thank God for my family. They are there for me when I really need them.
